Why Did I Gain Weight?

Why I gain weight? That is a good question. I am really trying to figure that out. Did I gain because my lifestyle changed completely? I this normal for relationship in the beginning? Am I sick?

Am I sabotaging my body to see how true Matthew love truly is? Or am I on the path to self destruction, making myself fat so I can't go back to being a "party girl". This way I won't be tempted to venture out to the nightlife and screw up things with Matthew. Because a girl can get into a lot of trouble out there. I've tried going out a few times and I can tell you what a difference. I actually have to wait behind the velvet rope, something I am not accustomed to. Are people really that shallow to where they won't let the chubby girl in, even if she has a cute face?

I wish I had an answer.